Future worries, or lack thereof.....

The future is not something that I care too much about anymore. I have come to realize and accept that worrying about the future and making sure every little detail of my life is planned out only ends in frustration and futility. As of now, I have not been accepted into any medical school, and that is totally fine with me. I have no problem waiting to get into school because I am positive that God will get me in when He wants me in, and that He would not have given me this passion for medicine if He did not intend for me to use it eventually. I very might have a job soon, which is going to help end the monotony of life. Things are definitely on the up and up in my life, and I knew that I had to hit a very low point months ago for myself to be brought up to this place where I am now. I serve a faithful and loving God, and the support from my friends and family have been overwhelming.

The concept of living life to its fullest and living a life abundantly has really helped in coming to terms with things. I am trying to live life in light of the future. I mean, I want to look back at my life and know that I utilized all the blessings that I have been given. I am trying to take advantage of the situations and circumstances as they arise everyday and confront them head on, despite whether it might make me uncomfortable or nervous. There really is no point because everything truly happens for a reason. Life really does get more enjoyable living it being reassured that God really does have everything in control. I wish I could have become this optimistic years ago, but God knows that I am stubborn and always have to learn things the hard way. Thanks for staying with me and never giving up on me......

Home...

Yet again I have decided to come home. I find it interesting that the sole purpose that I keep coming home is to ultimately keep getting more and more ink done on my tattoos. I always talk to my tattoo artist to make sure he is going to be free and in town before I even book the tickets to come back. Everyone that truly could claim to know me why I never want to return home if I could help it, but that is a different topic for a different time. I always appreciate coming home to the most loving, caring, sincere friends that a person could ask for. I feel like there is no guard up when I am around them. They are the few people that have seen me hit bottom emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and yet they are the ones that show me the most interest in my life and treat me almost how I would envision members of a non-dysfunctional family would treat each other. I love my real family and would really do anything for them, but, for the most part, we deal better thousands of miles apart, with the exception of the brother that has been a blessing having in somewhat close proximity to me. Getting older and older is causing my friends and I to keep moving further in terms of distance, yet closer to terms of endearment. I hope that never changes....

Encouragement

It has been interesting to see how much has changed in my life, especially in the past two months. God has literally brought me to my breaking point not too long ago. I have never been in such a position as this one. Through it, God has brought a great deal of resolve in my life, as well as support, encouragement, and accountability. I have noticed that my overall demeanor is changing, and much for the better. I am not nearly as pessimistic as I used to be. I do not go around with such a downtrodden, melancholy, despised manner. Everything is going to be more than sufficient in my different aspects of my life: medical school, a job, a place to live, and the list goes on and on. I truly feel like one of my gifts is the ability to have compassion for people as well as empathize and have a standing ground to be able to talk to them. I know that God will use this in my future profession to be able to talk to patients with their own problems in life. It is always helpful to talk to someone that has been in your position before but has pushed through and persevered. I am excited to be this kind of person. I anticipate the future......