Trapped

Again I have been forced inside this box. I am lonely, yet this scenario is all too familiar. Why have you locked me inside again? Why does this happen so frequently. I know from experience to not struggle. The more I panic and fight the state of anxiety, the quicker my oxygen supply diminishes. Futility best describes the current reality of my situation. I know that there is nothing I can do. It is all too apparent that this predicament is just temporary; well, that is at least what I am telling myself to avoid slipping into insanity. The silence is deafening. Why have I been thrown in isolation with these walls of steel surrounding me? My thoughts, emotions, and depravity are all that I am left with. I know that I do not deserve this neglect and torment, but that is the only way that I am ever dealt with. I am too easily cast aside like the chewing gum that has lost its flavor from the withering of time. This time alone is not good for me. I was never meant to be solely by myself. The creation of my being means so much more. I am not finished fulfilling my purpose and most likely will never be given the chance. For too long have I been free to bask in my satisfaction and sincerity. Oh how I have taken for granted all those opportunities of living and finding meaning for my purpose. I am too important to be thrown aside like this. Why can't it be shown what the detriment of casting me aside really is?

The weight of everything has been accumulated for so long now. I know that this prison will not solve anything. All I need is another chance to prove myself and my worth. That mindset will not help further the process of escaping. Escape is unrealistic because I have never been able to before no matter how much effort and strength are implored in doing so. Patience is what I ultimately require in this dire situation, but I wish to be saved instead. In due time I hope to be let out again, but hope seems to be fading as the timeline of my existence dwindles like the last flicker of a candle before being extinguished. This solitude is only what I can endure. The walls are too fortified for anyone to be let inside or to deliver me. Gloom and despair are on the forefront of the assault of negativity. If only I was given the encouragement while I was still free. If only someone stole me away before being locked up then surely I would have never been in this captivity. I have been beaten, battered, and abused for the last time, so maybe this box is my chance to heal again and become whole. Maybe it is wishful thinking that will help me persevere....or maybe it is just a way I am coping with this all by believing in what I know all too well as lies. Here I lie in waiting for what happens next.....